a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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