After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
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