im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
