Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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