ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
wanna go halves on a baby?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I need to stop coming to work sober
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
