I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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