They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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