Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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