He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
