your thong is hanging out like whoa
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
