I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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