I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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