dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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