There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
