i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
