at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
