its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
