Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
