I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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