we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
