Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
