its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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