accomplished twins. life is a go
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
