i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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