I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
