Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
