I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So many bounce houses so little time
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
