i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Damn victory sex feels great
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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