Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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