Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
