i think my tv is drunk
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
