i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
