Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
