there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
When are your genitals available?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
