Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
