I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
