How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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