I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
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