We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
