i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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