tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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