he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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