I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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