we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
