i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
