In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
