so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
