you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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