so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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