I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
