If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
A bitchslap is in order.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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