This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
